Interested? Click below to schedule a quick call to get your questions answered & see if it’s the right fit!
Wednesday, October 29th
11 am CT • 12 pm ET • 5 UK • 6 Europe
2 hours on Zoom • Not Recorded • Limited to 5 people • $165 investment
Healing After Narcissism
In the Healing After Narcissism group, you’ll use a common coaching technique to address your problem: FOCUS. We are gathering together to focus on one thing: the impact of narcissism!
Relationships with narcissists are absolutely some of the most painful and difficult to heal from. As a child of a profoundly narcissistically impaired mother, I have been healing from these wounds for over 40 years — I think I started learning how to navigate from narcissism practically in the womb!
The images on this page are all from the movie Gaslight, which is an incredibly psychologically powerful portrayal of how narcissistic abuse gradually erodes a woman’s sense of Self.
I chose to write my senior honors thesis at Northwestern on this movie and the gothic themes of projection and other psychological dynamics, so I’ve been interested in this topic a long time, I’ve been healing it myself a long time.
As a result, I can hold space and guide people through the territory of narcissistic harm and bring clarity to how many styles of narcissism — including intellectual, somatic, overt and covert narcissism — show up in relationships.
IFS Live Online Class
Click Here to Schedule a free chat to see if this group is for you
The DIY classes are currently running à la carte—you can try one and see how you like it without committing to a monthly class series. (If you prefer a smaller, closed group, the more intimate three-person group may be right for you).
In the group, we will:
-Go inside to connect with our parts
-Share what feels comfortable
-20 minute demonstration of an IFS session
-Share how the demonstration inspired or resonated with us
-We share from the heart, not the head — no judgement or analysis, just authentic responses
-Take 10-15 minutes to work with our parts related to narcissistic relationships
-Share our inner work in whatever way feels comfortable
-Close out our time with a word or phrase we are taking away from the experience.
Because of the HIGHLY experiential, personal nature of the group, it will not be recorded.
This class is the best fit for:
-Open-hearted people who have a basic ability to work with their parts
-People who want to learn how to work more deeply with their parts
-IFS lovers who want to learn how to get unblended more easily ON THEIR OWN
-People who want to learn and practice classic IFS externalization techniques like mind mapping, parts sketching, and using finger puppets to personify parts.
We are a very small, intimate group of five who create a supportive, connected community over the sessions of the class.
If you are looking for a place to:
-do deeper work
-with emotionally mature, IFS-savvy folks
-in a safe container
-of mutual support and encouragement
I invite you to consider this group!
If you want to learn more about it, sign up for a free Zoom call with me. I do a Zoom with everyone who takes a class, so you have a sense of safety with me coming in to the class, to find out if it's the right fit, and to have your questions answered!
https://calendly.com/melissas/complimentary-consultation-with-melissa
Testimonial:
“Melissa’s Deeper Intimacy with Your Self (DIY) IFS courses gave me a quantum leap in my inner work practice. Before, although I had a daily journaling practice, I was pretty reliant on life coaching for doing deep work. Now, thanks to the DIY IFS beginner and advanced course, I have the skills to be my own therapist. My own practice and my relationship with myself are so much deeper, more trusting, and more productive. The courses epitomize Melissa’s motto, “Work smarter, not harder,” making inner work more fun and more efficient. Every part of me recommends them with great enthusiasm. They have totally changed my life!”
— Liv Love
Click Here to Schedule a free chat to see if this group is for you
Healing After Narcissism
9 am PT / 10 am MT / 11 am CT / 12 pm ET / 5 pm UK / 6 pm Europe
Wednesday, October 29th • 11 am - 1pm CST
One of the ways people learn IFS best is through IFS demonstrations.
I have witnessed over 100 in-person IFS demonstrations by the founder of IFS, Richard Schwartz, during the 15 years I dedicated to learning IFS (including taking 13 level 3 trainings with him).
I truly believe simply watching IFS sessions is a very powerful way to get it IN YOUR BONES and to begin to live and breathe the IFS approach. Make it come alive in you! Watch it IN ACTION!
I also believe our mirror neurons benefit from the entrainment of watching other people’s parts receive and respond to Self-energy. It gives them permission and hope that they, too, can do it.
In the spirit of dynamic, experiential learning, this group features a demonstration and time to do your own practice.
Our Group Structure:
Introductions
Going inside/ Journaling
We will begin as all IFS gatherings do, by going inside to connect to ourselves and center. Feel free to journal.
Sharing
A spacious check-in
Demo
A twenty-minute IFS demonstration of using finger puppets to externalize parts.
Heartfelt feedback about the demo
How we were inspired or resonate with the work
Practice
Time to do do your own practice with your parts using finger puppets or whatever objects you have available
Sharing
Time to share any insights you want to share
Closing
After that, we’ll close with a word or phrase we’re taking with us.
Details
Does any of this sound familiar?
"I enjoy parts work with my practitioner / coach / therapist, but then I don’t tend to check in with them between sessions.”
"I want to be able to connect more deeply with my parts but my protectors won’t let me.”
“I just don’t feel like journaling.”
“I want to learn from someone who has experience working directly with their parts on their own. I don’t want to just read about the IFS steps from a book.”
“I’d like to connect with other like-minded people who also see IFS as a way of life, not merely something theoretical they’re learning to use with clients.”
If you resonate with any of these statements, then this drop-in group is ideal for you!
Imagine having a 23-year expert in IFS support you in developing your OWN relationship to your parts.
You’ll learn how to:
• Get questions answered right when they arise, before they begin blocking your work
• Bring compassion to your DIY IFS process
• Provide Self-energy to enhance yours, to create more access to deeper parts
• Help you make IFS a way of life, not just something you do one hour a week in therapy
• Build a supportive community: Connect with other IFS folks and also to other IFS resources
Class Safety Agreement
Clarity about our purpose:
To deepen our capacity to do IFS and to develop our Self-leadership as human beings.
Choice:
You are free to censor what you disclose. No is a complete sentence. Choose to share ONLY what you feel comfortable with.
Confidentiality:
All material everyone shares should not be shared with people who are not members of this group, even if you don’t use their name. You’d be surprised how far stories can travel. To read more, visit https://www.athousandpaths.com/safety-story.
Speak up for Safety:
If you are having difficulty with something that’s triggered you, PLEASE speak for your parts, either directly in the group or as soon as you can afterwards. Please LISTEN to your parts when they tell you what they need in order to feel safe. Safety is our number one value. When you speak for your safety needs, you speak for the safety needs of the whole group.
Speaking for parts, not from parts:
To the extent that you can, speaking for parts, not from them, will help us maintain safety when sharing in the group.
Embodying parts:
During coaching demos, in distinction to other times during the group, feel free to speak FROM parts and to experiment with embodying them. The difference between blending and embodying is: when you are blended, you are in a part and you don’t know you are in a part. When you embody a part, you are in a part and YOU and the part BOTH know you are ‘being’ the part.
No Coercion:
"Thank you, for letting me, be myself!” In this group, there is “no crosstalk.” This means when one person shares, no one judges, gives advice, or reacts against what they shared.
Feedback: Share how you are inspired or how you resonate with others. DO NOT share judgement, advice, or criticism. If you criticize others in the class, I reserve the right to determine that you may not be the right fit for my classes. Thank you for understanding.
https://radicalifs.substack.com offers endless examples of how parts crosstalk and then repair, if you’re interested in a deeper dive.
Timeliness:
We commit to start and end on time. We start on time; this increases safety and strengthens the container.
Support and responsibility:
Ultimately, the only person who can keep you fully safe in a group is you. I want to do everything I can to make this group a safe space to learn, to go inside, and to share, in whatever ways feel right for you — but you are responsible for listening to the sometimes difficult-to-hear voices who tell you what they REALLY need to be safe.
You are not crazy if you get triggered, it’s ULTRA NORMAL in IFS work. So take care of yourself, and possibly give yourself extra support on days when you do IFS!
Thank you for your commitment to this safety agreement!
About Melissa:
Learn from a 23-year IFS Expert:
Melissa Sandfort has been an IFS Certified Practitioner since 2010.
From 2002-2017, Melissa dedicated herself to learning IFS from the inside out, taking 20 IFS trainings with the Institute for Self-Leadership. Specifically:
• 2 Level 1 IFS trainings
• 5 Level 2 IFS trainings, including all 3 levels of Intimacy from the Inside Out
• 13 Level 3 IFS trainings with Richard Schwartz
With over 1,000 hours of in-person training with the founder of IFS, Richard Schwartz, and over 2,350 hours of IFS training including dozens of retreats and workshops, she has a depth of IFS training few can match!
However, what truly sets her apart is her profound personal commitment to the practice of IFS in her own life.
Building on a very solid foundation of IFS training, she has slowly increased her capacity to do IFS by herself, on herself, and now has a daily self-IFS practice of 2-3 hours of intensive IFS work on herself every day.
She has currently done over 8,000 hours of her own, personal IFS work. And that number increases by 730+ hours a year!
To get a sense of this work, you can listen to a free podcast of one of her personal IFS sessions.
As a passionate advocate of the power of IFS to transform lives, unravel trauma, and help us all come home to our Self, Melissa is dedicated to sharing her IFS expertise in the most creative and loving ways possible!
To that end, she offers her own work as a model for how to achieve Deeper Intimacy with Yourself (DIY) with IFS! She has two Substacks where she shares this work:
Radical IFS - https://radicalifs.substack.com/about
Radical IFS podcast - https://radicalifs.substack.com/podcast
This class is your chance to learn from a Master IFS practitioner about how to work with your own parts, based on decades of radically intense IFS practice.
FAQ
What is the refund policy?
There are no refunds. To get a sense of me before the class, I always invite you to connect in a free Zoom to make sure it’s the right fit and to get your questions answered beforehand.
You can also buy an on-demand course for $35, which will give you two-year access to many of my workshops and IFS sessions. There is a finger puppets workshop, a conference table workshop, and many more to give you an idea of me as an IFS facilitator and how the workshops unfold.
Although there are no refunds, if you need to miss a class, you can transfer your registration to a future class.
I have done everything I can to provide classes full of value.
I put my heart into all my classes. It actually breaks my heart when people want a refund, and I can’t put so much love and care into my classes and then be heartbroken when people ask for refunds. Therefore, I have a no-refund policy for all my classes!
This keeps my heart and my parts safe, so that I can be vulnerable and excited about offering what I offer.
If a refund policy is important to you, I am the wrong teacher for you! I give everything I can, and in return I ask that you honor me by thinking before buying a course so that it is the right match for you.
Thanks for understanding!
Melissa’s Deeper Intimacy with Your Self courses gave me a quantum leap in my inner work practice.
Before, although I had a daily journaling practice, I was pretty reliant on life coaching for doing deep work.
Now, thanks to the DIY IFS beginner and advanced course, I have the skills to be my own therapist.
My own practice and my relationship with myself are so much deeper, more trusting, and more productive.
The courses epitomize Melissa’s motto, “Work smarter, not harder,” making inner work more fun and more efficient.
Every part of me recommends them with great enthusiasm. They have totally changed my life! —Liv Love